Steve blinked a few times at the
question. Really, he couldn’t remember when the last time he ate was,
and his stomach growled at the prospect of food, so he nodded.
“Um..yeah, I’d like that..” he murmured, a tiny hint of a
smile appearing on his face as he stepped a little closer. Really, it
was like he was an abandoned animal being reintroduced to a healthy,
happy life, and he was a little nervous, but could anyone really
blame him for that?
He had been trained to kill, to show no
mercy. Not to..to live. Trying to live on your own with barely any
recollection of who you were was scary, but..he didn’t have to be on
his own now. He kept trying to reason that within himself. Bucky
would keep him safe.
“I..I appreciate it, Bucky,”
he said after a few moments, glancing up at him. “I mean, since
we didn’t exactly..uh, end on good terms the last time we saw each
other..” He sighed, biting on his lip before he spoke again.
“..I’m sorry.”
Of course, it wasn’t his fault, but he
felt responsible, somehow. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. At all. I
really–I really didn’t.” I don’t deserve his kindness, was what
he thought, but he didn’t add that part. “I’m..really sorry.”
“…There’s no need to apologize, Steve. It wasn’t your fault.” NO, it wasn’t Steve’s fault, not in the slightest. No, if Bucky had moved faster, reached out more, then he could’ve grabbed Steve. He could’ve pulled him back inside the train. He wouldn’t have fallen– he wouldn’t have had to go through everything thats been forced upon him.
He wouldn’t say any of that, however. He didn’t need to make the situation worse with the thoughts that had haunted him since he found out Steve was alive ( some were even from when he first woke up without Steve, simply without Hydra ).
“Don’t worry about me, alright? I’m fine. Really. I’ve gone through plenty of worse things.” It was only a partial lie. Yes, he had been through worse things, but he mainly meant physical things. Nothingcould compare to seeing your ex-lover alive, brainwashed, and hellbent on killing you.
Nothing could prepare you for the pain that would bring.
“C’mon. You need to eat. A proper meal, too. Not…not whatever they might’ve fed you.” Slowly, he pulled one of his hands out of his pockets, hesitating for a moment or two. Should he? His teeth came down to chew on his lip for a moment before he hesitantly reached over, placing his hand on Steve’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze of what he HOPED would come off as reassurance ( mainly that HE’D BE OKAY ).
❝ This world will try to bend you, break you. Scare you, shake you. Make you question all the things that make you. It will hurt, it won't be easy. Sometimes it's barely worth believing. But hope is light and fear is heavy. ❞ Ⓒ
Ind. & Selective BUCKY BARNES as told by Rae. Post-Civil War, slightly canon divergent. NSFW+
ANY CIVIL WAR SPOILERS WILL BE TAGGED AS "CW SPOILERS". Spoilers will be tagged until mid-june.
